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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

From A Man's Point Of View...

OK, so i have these 2 guy friends who i can talk to about pretty much anything. So last night, while i was re twisting one's dreads, we got into a conversation about relationships. Jack & Joe (that's what we're gonna call em) were arguing about how they approach dating someone....who's already in a relationship.

Jack feels as tho that's an automatic plus. Because he feels that since shes already attached to someone, she wont be all up in his face all the time. "I love being the other man..its the prime position to be in" So I'm like "why?" and he's like "because that means I'm not entitled to do anything." So Joe's like "that's stupid, because if you ever get into a relationship with that girl you're not going to trust her because of how y'all got together"

Joe's more traditional. he feels that he needs to get a girl fair and square. "I don't want to have to compete for her attention," he said. "cause Karma is a bitch and you will never be happy because you will only get the shit you dish out. And what man in their right mind wont mind a cheater?"

So Jack, being a man, is like "i don't care. if my girl is going to cheat, she can cheat. I always tell the girls i date that she wont be the only one..." Me and Joe look at each other and laugh because Jack has been riding the single train to Georgia for months now.

Don't get me wrong. Both Jack and Joe are good peoples. But that's crazy how some men think..

Oh, The Weather Outside Is Frightful..



So I'm going to need you to not be dressed like you have hot flashes or you're an extra on the set of Gossip Girls. Yes, they do film the show in the area, so your finger my get some t.v. time. But is a bright future filled with arthritis pains and bengay dreams worth it?
I mean, we woke up in the same city, right? We probably didn't watch the same weather channel, but most of the time they all have pretty much the same forecast (About 30 degrees..possible snow) ... So why am i dressed like the Abominable Snowman and you look like you're about to go to the beach or get on a swing? How are so cold you have on a pea coat but so hot you wearing flip flops? Or a uniform with no stockings? Maybe I'm the one that needs to be checked out by my primary care physician because I'm starting to feel like I'm the crazy one..

Monday, January 26, 2009

Weird But True...

Cops in Lagos, Nigeria, say they are holding a goat on charges of armed robbery - because people claim it's actually a man who turned himself into the farm animal.


A group of vigilantes came upon some men trying to break into a car, but when they gave chase all escaped - except the guy who transformed himself(said goat), cops were told.

You can't come up with shit like this i Swear..LMAO

This Week's Candy Memory Is...




A DOUBLE FEATURE!!! *APPLAUSE*


I WOULD LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS FIRST ONE TO MY GIRL RanDomMuch (I SEE YOU IN THAT COACH KNOCKOFF GIRL LOL)




OUCH! GUM




This gum is an obvious sign that children will eat anything thats bright and has the word candy or gum attached to it...Thinking about it now, eating a band-aid isnt as attractive to me now as it was when i was eight. At least the tin it came in was functional..i kept all my Barbie shoes in it lol


and next up we have...


POP ROCKS





i wasnt going to do this one yet, but last night i found a pack in a cookie tin in the kitchen and i was like GTFOH!! I forced the loser (as he is affectionately known) to share the pack with me. Too bad we dont have soda in the house or else I would've dear him to eat them with soda..and hopefully he would've blown up (lmao)

Friday, January 23, 2009

Cant Carry A Notey

i was bored the other night so i recorded myself singing...was looking a mess so i am not on the video lol
video

This Week's Candy Memory Is...

FRUIT STRIPE GUM...






*sighs* just thinking about it is making me tear up...this is from back in the day when mom used to make her trip to Pathmark to buy my weeks supply of Lunchables & Mondo juices (lol) this was always at the cash register...in all its glory...all the flavors-which actually lasted from what i recall, but then again i had a little mouth so i guess it put in less work when chewing lol. the consistency of the gum....everything was perfect...

here's to you, Fruit Stripe...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I ♥ The Office Ninja

OK so by now most of you should know im obssessed with the personal ads on CL...i came across this one this morning and..LMFAO i can't see for yourself..



Office NINJA seeks Female Assasin (CLEAN NINJA Pics ) - m4w - 31 (NO Dirty Pics ALL G-RATED Clean)


Your Secret Friendship with a Married Ninja [ looking for a FEMALE by birth only]

Here is what I am offering: Daily ongoing communication via email. In the beginning I only expect to flirt and exchange small sweet convo. Start slow and build at YOUR pace.


You are size 6 - 12, hispanic PR or white or bi-racial/mixed Latina, straight or Bi (don't be shy) with LONG hair or at least shoulder length. If you have a tummy, tattoos, piercings it's ALL GOOD - I don't mind such things. I am 31 yrs old, 6ft, about 195lbs.

Please do NOT send me naked pix.

Face pics available. Your age, height and weight is NOT important so if you are larger than a 12 it's all good. Bonus points if you have a nice round belly and straight hair.

I can send you a VIRTUAL VOICEMAIL via email [ I do NOT need your tel #] if you want to HEAR my voice. Again, no phone # ---> just email.

Wanna see more photos? Of course you do. Go to that special SPACE where everybody from Obama to yo mama go that begins with "My" and add ******



You have NO tact.

You know what? i'm bout 3 seconds from putting my foot up the next bitch ass that tries to gimme some nasty look when im out with my "male" (lol)

Have some fucking respect. You see me with him. You're going to have the audacity to give him sexy eye while he sitting RIGHT next to me? You got me mixed up boo boo..Dont let this prissy look fool you.. Cuz i will snatch this hat off my mother fucking head, take off this cute lil sweater and beat you like you stole from my nana.

Contrary to the previous paragraph, i am not a violent person. But blatant disrespect like that will not be tolerated, in any way, shape or form. What makes it worse is that before he came she kept watching me, every time i look up me and her eyes make four...I mean, if you like what i'm wearing, compliment me. if you dont, turn the fuck away... But dont try to stare me down and then proceed to foam at the mouth when my man shows up. If she was a dime, honestly, i would've been flattered. But she was so washed up...She was doing me an injustice by focusing her attention on us...I was too happy when she finally decided to stop breaking her neck and went about her business...

WHEW that felt GOOD to get off my chest

Thank goodness he wasnt paying her any mind(from what i saw), But being in the mood i've been in lately, all i need is there to be no cereal in the cupboard, and im bout ready to commit a 187 on somebody.

How I Feel....

I'm not really one to express myself openly, but i've been thru alot in the past couple of weeks, so the mind has been flowing...And I need to get some this out of my head..


Patience wearing thin
Don’t got the time to listen
You call it giving in
I say you’re not forgiven
Cuz time & time again
I’ve seen you wandering
Your seat is frozen
Consider the position open
Call it what you want
I’m hoping you get the picture
There’s no one else at fault
Take the blame, its quicker
No need to deny it
The facts told on you themselves
Thought you would’ve been smarter
Guess that’s credit you can’t get
Consider yourself denied
Love balance is outstanding
You know you messed up, right?
Really hope it was worth it
Was it the best investment of your life?
But now you’ve gone bankrupt
No need to fight it, just resign
Be a man about it
Take it in stride
Consider this one of the biggest mistakes
You’ve ever made in your life