Monday, April 20, 2009

Its must be yo ass cuz it aint yo face...

aight thanks to the folks over at the Crackbox i decided to blog on a subject that has come up frequently recently.

Have you ever seen a GOOD looking girl in the club, and then you see her friend and she is UGLY as SIN? Or you see a good lookin guy or girl and their man or woman is vomitrocious?

I have. And what kills me is that the ugly one is going the hardest to get attention. Or if her friend is getting attention, she's quick to cock block. What kills me about this is that there are some pretty girls who would PURPOSELY befirend unattractive people to make herself look better. But at what cost to the other person? Is the unattractive person so blinded by the fact that they have a fly friend they dont realize the superficiality of their relationship? Not only that, the unattractive person tends to act like they're the finest thing since a ball point pen.

In the reltionship aspect the first thing people say is the "he/she must give good head/spend money/spoil them to keep that person around"(grimey LOL)

this can flop either way as far as personality too. Ive seen some gorgeous people with the ugliest attitudes and vice versa.

Dont get me wrong. Im not saying that Good & Bad looking people cant be friends. And i am by far the last person who should judge on this subject, but at the same time i always wonder the backstory to those relationships. They could be like me. I dont think ANY of my friends are unattractive. And i would never let my friends come out lookin a fool for my own benefit...But thats me.

10 things i believe i know about men.

ok so over the weekend i had time to think about ALL of the men in my life. and there are some things that they do or say that seem to just come natural to them. Here's my take on it...

10) Men sometimes lie because it’s easier than telling the truth.
This is pretty much self explainitory. The funny thing is, i can usually tell when their lying. but i never say anything. i prefer to let them believe they got away with it and then use it against them at a later date. (lol)

9) Men like to gossip just as much as women do.
ABSOLUTELY. Having Jack & Joe as friends ive seen this front han. They talk about everybody's situation, how they wouldve handled it, etc etc. like old women on a stoop its hilarious. and when you tell them they're gossiping they deny it.

8) Men are bad at remembering dates.
Unless it has something to do with them. My dad couldnt even remember my sisters birthday for cryin out loud.

7) Men are scared of the term forever.
The minute you say "we'll be togethere forever" he's already half way out of the door. The only time they seem to like it is during sex lol "this is yours forever!"

6) Men don’t want to admit it, but they need women in their lives.
The same go for women. Sometimes they hate the fact that the NEED us, but they do. And not even for major things. the little things, like giving him little massages, cooking for him, umm rockin the all matters to them as much as they try to deny it.

5) Men take sports seriously.
Conversations during game time is an absolute no-no. God forbid you tell him you want to go out during the playoffs. Yesterday i slept through a zilllion games because well. i couldnt deal with it lol. And lets not mention when i almost got body slammed out of excitement when the Giants won the superbowl.

4) Men can’t take hints.
Dont even bother droppng any. If you want to say something, s-p-e-l-l-i-t-o-u-t. Because more then likely they'll misconstrue your hint, and it will backfire on you.

3) Men are visual beings.
This is the reason they like porn, strip clubs, or just to see you do a lil sum'n sum'n freaky for them every now and then. A mans mind is a visual playground. If you talk dirty to your man on the phone, there is a guarantee he has his thoughts going south, because he can mentally picture you doing what you say youre doing.

2) Men care what others think of them, and even dress up for others.
Even though they may not say it, they are. Any male ive been acquainted with has been almost as much into fashion as me. Making sure their hair is always cut, nails are always clean. When they go out, they make sure their outfit is on point, cologne smelling good, everything. And trust me its well appreciated.

1) Men can’t help but check out other women.
And that is OK. shit, if she's fine, im looking too! Its a natural reaction for men.I dont understand why chics get so angry when their man takes a peek at another girl. HE'S WITH YOU!! let him look all he wants. Some of them even try to deny it which is funny cause at the end of the day he's giving you the goods, so obviously you have something he likes.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I needed a new blog post

I been having complaints about the peen warmers (lmao) tickels me still
anywho i figured i'd do somethin outta my usual post pics of myself from vegas lol. (clearly im bored)

Lunch @ The Cheesecake Factory

first night in vegas

in the bathroom at NY NY lol (our bathrooms do NOT look like this at all)

@ the club

Me and my homegirl

dont be fooled i was definitely drunk in this pic lol

this nucca right here..lmaoo had us ctfu

Thursday, April 9, 2009








Wednesday, April 8, 2009

He's so good, so good, so OooOOh, Shit. Damn!

Ok this post is dedicated to newbie.

i'm real diggin this guy..and i think its a sign...peep what happened sunday night.

So as you all know, newbie left for Europe when i left for Vegas. his trip was supposed to last til 4/11. I knew that i would have some um..technical difficulties not seeing him for 2 weeks so i made sure to send him off with a smile *Wink*. I spoke to him when he first got to Manchester when i came back from Vegas last monday. I missed him something TERRIBLE.

To keep my mind off of him i picked up a few side hustles, and went out with my girls. i tried my best to stay clear of the LOSER cause i know how he is about newbie.

So sunday comes and my mom cooks. Loser always comes by, so it was no biggie. He was passin thru before he had to head over to his best friends house. He comes, has lil play fights with the twerp (my sister) and eats. So after we eat he comes and throws is 6'2 215 self across my lil ole bed. Im like boy move! he's like girl hush lets watch the game. I dont even remember wtf was on. So anyway i lay in the lil crevice of bed left infront of Loser. and lord. all of a sudden i got horny as HELL!..idk wtf came over me. and the thing with the loser is he knows me SOOOO well he just looked at me and i kno he could tell that i was ready to get it. Just as soon as he was about to make his move im like, what time u heading to the BF? (im tryna stall) and he goes searchin in his pockets. Only to realize that he left his phone in his car. so he goes to the car.and i use that lil time to compose myself. Just as i begin to relax, my phone rings...Its NEWBIE!!! omg so im like "hi baby!" and he's like "surprise boo, im home..i missed you like crazy" and the loser walks in like BF called i gotta dip u want me to come back? and im like naa u good ima ttyl. So i get up get dressed and dash to see newbie.

what a reunion....whew

please tell me that the gods were not workin in my favor? like that was a serious sign for me to not get into anythin with the loser. i couldve screwed up what im trying to build...

Monday, April 6, 2009


So my homegirl Quana and i were talkin about dating and i was letting her know that im not a "dater" So she's like "ahh so what you do, talk and text, thats wack" I'm like "girl no, but the last date i went on set me off the dating track about 40 miles"

why dont you all be the judge..

Last September my friend Nya and i went to a club in Brooklyn. (mistake # 1. I never club in Brooklyn but i didnt feel like drivin into the city) So we're dancing, holdin up the bar, looking cute, you know, the usual. Her homeboy comes up to her and they're talking and stuff and I peep his friend is a lil cutie! He seems cool. So when the club lets out he asked for my number, and im like "ah what the hell his people kno my people so what the deal. (mistake #2. i never ever give out my number. i always take theirs. damn absolut had me makin bad decisions)

From the night i gave him my number, he called. I mean everyday. We talked about everything there was to talk about. Past relationships, our jobs...everything. All the bases were covered. Now, i wasnt looking for anything in particular, because this wasnt that long after Brandon's death. I just needed a little company.

After 2 weeks of convo he hits me up one sunday night and asks if i wanna go out to eat. I had already eaten so he was like "aight we can get drinks and chill, whatev." so im like cool. i told him where i lived and he came for me (mistake # 3. i NEVER let people come get me. i always drive to wherever we got to go for myself. but alternate side parkin rules caused me to slip up. F u Bloomberg.)

Anyway, he shows up in his nice lil whip and im like ok where we goin, he says "applebees" im like ok cool there's like 3 applebees in bk so i kno i wont be out any where too late, i had to work the next morning.

So, this mofo starts drivin..and he gets on the belt parkway, which is cool, except he was goin in the opposite direction of applebees in BK. this fool is makin his way towards Long Island. So im like "ok Courts, just see where he's going" he drives us alllll the way to the 5 towns Applebees, which is a good 45 minutes from my house. So im already annoyed(lol). We get in there and he's like " u drinkin?" and im like na i have to work int he mornin. He goes ahh u no fun have a drink.

this fool orders 4...yes FOUR top shelf Long Island Iced Teas. i hate those. so im like umm im not drinkin that. You know, he sat there and drank all 4 of them str8 like it was kool aid? so im like "fuck this nigga bout to be drunk and im all the way in fuckin LI with no car shiiiiittt"

so im like aight take me home, cuz i figure if i can get him to take me back to bk before that shit set in he can kill himself on his way home.

he's like aight cool but lemme run to my crib quick, i live around the block. So im like aight just make it quick. (mistake #4. i shouldve stayed in applesbees and called a cab) While he's doin whateva it is he's doin, i say i gotta use the restroom and call the Loser. He wasnt answerin. So i left him a message like call me ASAP.

I come out the bathroom, which is connected to his room. and tell me WHYYY this nigga standin there BUTT ASS NAKED. talkin bout "boo lets talk." Im too busy standing there laughin at his micro erection that i dont notice him comin up to me. SO im like "umm yea we need to dip" but he already tryna grab on me, all slurring and shit. Im gettin madder and madder and he's gettin rougher and rougher. Finally i had enough and puched him in his face. He slumped over, and threw up all over his bed, and then proceeded to pass out.

ALL im thinkin about is let me get the FUCK outta here. So im grabbin my purse and shit. And im so mad. i went lookin for his car keys cuz i was definitely gonna drive myself home and then proceed to set his car on FIRE. anyway while im tryna gather myself the loser calls and i tell him whats goin down. He's mad as HELL and he tells me to get outta of there ASAP. So i rush out of there and start walkin back to the best of my memory. Im good. until i realize i cant read the street signs. I left my fuckin glasses in this freak's bathroom!!! i was so angry omg omg
i walked a good 20 blocks before i found a cab service. it had to be about 2am by now.
so on the ride and im venting to the cab driver and he's like damn ma thats fucked up and shit. So $40 later he pulls up to my house like "so, whats good with that number"...

Anyway. i was so upset the next day i stayed home with loser. So the freak has the AUDACITY to call me on some "why did u leave last night ?"shit. i was like "___________" oh hell fucking no. SO i remain calm and cool and was like "yea u played yourself and i need my glasses" lol

SO Loser tells Jack & Joe, and them fools are ready to KILL this guy. So Me, Loser, Jack & Joe drive back up there..and im like "yo come outside and give me my glases" this nigga comes to the storm door, pushes the glasses thru the mail slot and slams the door shut.

Thats the last i ever saw or heard from him.

and this, boys and girls, i why I DONT DATE.