hold the damn presses!

So yesterday was going just fine and dandy until right after I blogged. My phone vibrated and I figured it was a bbm so I disregarded it until I was finished some paperwork.why when I looked to see who it was it was a text. From NEWBS.

Yes, the same Newbs who I said I was done with because he chose a very inappropriate time to disrespect me.

Yes, the same Newbs who I haven't spoken to since October 1st, the night we had that dispute in my car.

He had the nerve to hit me up like everything was peaches and damn cream. I couldn't believe it. Then had the nerve to say "I still feel some kind of way" yea? Cuz I told you you weren't shit or cuz I said I don't want to love someone like you, who disregards my feelings to prove a point.

I asked him if he wanted to talk any problems he had out with me, because last time I checked I wasn't a fuckin mind reader. Let me know how u feel. I don't assume.

I'm still waiting to hear from him. I honestly hope he knows I don't plan on waiting forever. I all but told him out relationship can cease where it stands.

I have no problem moving on with my life.

♥

keepin u current

So I've been thinkin about moving off on my own. Way from most of the family to Manhattan. Yes the big cityyyy.

in other news. I've been dreamin a lot about Newbs (aka Assholus Majorous) lately. I don't know if maybe my heart is trying to drop my mind hints. Yea I miss him, but that motherfucker will have to seek me out and beg for my forgiveness before I will even TALK to his ass. Hmmphf. Let he try wid duh!

This rain has made me want t cuff like crazy!

(Cuff, Cuffin: means to be boo'd up for all you non-New Yorkers)

I've been enjoyin thecompany of my old/new friend. I'm not looking for anything, and neither is he which is PERFECT. We talk and enjoy eachother company. Which is refreshing.

P.S. Halloween is saturday. I will get to wear my costume from last year. Didn't have it on for long if u catch my drift lol.

♥

hmm

Lately I've been trying to think of what I plan to change about myself/ my life in the coming year. To be honest with you all, 2009 couldn't end fast enough for me. Its been such a TRYING year to say the least.

Between new life, death, surgery, loves found and lost... It was a rollercoaster. But I digress.

I was able to fulfill my resolution from last year and made 2009 my year to strictly do me. If I wanted it done I did it. Even if I didn't succeed(which was a rare occuance) I can honestly say that I tried. I did a complete personal revamp and I must say that I'm happy with the new me.


As far as 2010 goes, my 2 main goals are to finish surgery and go back to school *crosses fingers*

In reference to my love/personal life, I'm not going to make any plans in particular. I'm just going to ride the wave. I'm 21 for crying out loud! Lol. If love comes my way, great. But I'm sure as hell not going to go look for that bitch, let it find me. Lol

Let's see how this goes.

♥

My aunt passed 4am this morning after battling breast cancer for two years. It was so hard for me to see my grandmother, whose birthday was yesterday hear that she was ill. My family has had to bury 5 members this year.


Every morning I wake up and wonder if the day ahead will be better or worse than the day before.

My health is in better shape, but my heart is heavy. I'm tired. I put on a smile everyday even when I want to cry. I know that there's someone out there that has it worse than I do. I wish I could meet them so I can ask how they do it.

For all you women ages 35 and up PLEASE GO GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM! Early detction saves lives. Don't be afraid. Because when its too late, its too late.

If you need any information regarding being screened, feel free to contact me.

its been a while....

I'm still alive and kickin blog world. I haven't blogged in 2 months. I've been so busy. Between work and my personal life. A lot has changed in such a short period of time I've really had to sit and evaluate the path that I was taking and whether it was the right one for me.

I lost an aunt to terminal cancer at the beginning of the month. And today I found out that another aunt that has breast cancer is in hospice.

Newbs and are officially over. I can tell you all this because we haven't spoken in over 2 weeks. He chose a very inappropriate time to disrespect me after we had a minor argument in my car. I love that man to pieces. But I refuse to let him think that he can treat me like shit to get his point across. If he was willing to let a good woman like me walk away because of his own cockiness and selfish pride than so be it.

I've moved on from him. I cried and so on. Then someone came around and has been treating me so well I can say that I believe that maybe newbs was a building block for my confidence. He wasn't the finishline, just a checkpoint.

Recently I've realized how many people I've let take advantage of my kindness. This revelation doesn't necessarily mean that I'm not going to continue to be who I am and always give 1000%. It just means that I now know what I honesty deserve and what I am too good to have to deal with.

Everyday is a challenge. And everyday I look forward to completing whatever task is at hand. Because I could be off way worse than I am.

Until tomorrow... ♥

A little update

OK so i know that I've been MIA for a while and i apologize dearly. Its just that I've been really really busy. But I've been around and I've kept saying that I'm going to blog. So I'll do it now while the office is quiet.

So far I've been recovering well from my surgeries. I've yet to make a follow up with my PS but i will in due time. I still get pains every now and then but i usually hot water treat them and I'm good to go. I'm not too fond of pills anymore lol.

I've been hitting the gym like a maniac. I'm talking 5 days a week, for about 3 hours a day. Yeah, I'm that determined to get not only my mid, but my body right as well.

Lets not forget about how IN LOVE i am. With Newbs(newbie's new name) Like i really love him. And he knows. And we're cool with that lol. I try to spend as much time with him as possible because I'm always busy and he's always busy, but i love the time we have together. no matter if its at 2am or 2 pm.

Loser is still around. that's still my BFF. no matter what. But lately our friendship has been a lil bleh. we still hang, but i feel like were getting distant. but at this point in my life i refuse to chase someone for any reason but my own happiness. and I'm happy. truly, genuinely happy with where i am right now.

On another note. Yesterday was the anniversary of Brandon's death. and i was such a zombie. i kept having dreams about the night i found out he died. so i tried to keep myself as busy as possible.

But back to the happy tunes: i cant believe the summer is over! I mean, i spent most of it sick and shut in, so i guess i couldnt of expected it to wait for me to get better lol. I did enjoy the time i did use recreationally tho.

Well, that i'l im going to blabber about for now...Until later everyone.

♥

NY Craigslist..oye

OK, its been a while since I've posted ANYTHING, let alone a good ole NY CL men seeking women ad. I stumbled upon this scholar and my eyes sprang tears from the beauty of his writing

Harvard Scholarship Recipient game proper.

Lets see how many grammatical errors one can make. Follow along children:

Whats next girls with bullethole's and stabe Wounds? - 30 (Brooklyn)

I've Posted a few times on Cl and Got some creepy Women replying To my ad.I'm not saying I'm god's gift to Women or it's all about looks,but be realistic When replying to me. I'm Not Looking for a( Interacial relationship) I like women who share many of the same cultural values,psyical traits and Experieances as myself.No I'm not Racist so if your a White nationalist Nut or some Minority with a bad addituide keep it to your self I don't care what You have to say.I'm not into BBW,BIG,THICK or what ever you want to call it. I perfere Petite or athletic Builds and Women with in my age demograpic Having said all That .I'm looking to meet a Mature,Grounded Woman,but at the same time someone who is not To pretentious and is very much down to Earth.I feel it's very Healthy to have a partner someone Whose Got my back when things are good or Bad and I do the same for them.I'm not Interested in one night stands(Well, maybe If your really Hot and can help move me up the socio ecconomic ladder) Hahha.I would like to get married and have kids one day,but Hey It would even be great to just meet someone Who I can learn from and Grow with That shares a Attraction with one another.I'm trying Not to be To serious about Things Because Good things come and go out of our lives . I had the beauitfull girlfriend,but she was To Psycho and even made me a little Psycho. I had The Hot shot Job,but Got Laid off due the Eccomeny.Now I'm Working 10 hours more a week at a Job I'm over Quilified for just To make a living that is not laughiable. I try not to be To pridefull or to serious these days Because I want To Enjoy life and What it has To offer.I don't mean partying,Drinking or Clubbing I hate that stuff. I mean Learning,Evolving,Building meaningfull relationships with people.I'm a Guy whose had a very colorful past and has Lots of Crazzy stories To tell.My Experieances are what give me a certian insite,stranth and Drive To deal with and over comethings. so, If you like what you see or just want to know more Drop me a line with a picture and I will get back to you




Instead of searching for a woman, he needs to be searching for a tutor. And he was goin in too.. For shame.