Friday, February 27, 2009

Toes done up, with tha' fanga nails matchin...

So my homegirl & i were out shoppin for our Vegas trip the other day, and we stopped somewhere that was selling funky nail polish. I LOVE bright, odd colored polishes, its my trademark. So there I am, picking up yellow, orange..all sorts of shit and she was like "damn i wanna get some too but my man only likes french." I'm like so? its your hands and feet and you mean to tell me you deprive yourself of originality because he likes it? Don't get me wrong, i went thru the french pedi/mani phase for about 6 months, but i had to stop, cuz i was lookin like every other female. and i hate that lol.

**side note** Why don't women realize that pedicure maintenance is a YEAR round responsibility? like, you think u can go all winter with them feet that look like yams and then expect Ms. Chen to pull out a Black & Decker sander for them shits in June? c'mon lets keep it 100 girls..a pedi ain't but $15..shit ain't nobody gonna see them feet, but how many sheet sets are you willing to sacrifice with them cheese grater heels?

*back to topic*
I've always been curious to know what it is about French manis/pedis that make men go so wild. I know it looks real nice, sophisticated, but Ive gotten compliments on my unique polish choices as well. so i want to know what about it is such a big deal? lol put me on...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I give good head....

ok so after that off topic from yesterday's post i was having a convo with a good friend of mine about head...both male and female.

i enjoy giving head(lol) gasp! i do. no need for me to deny it. i do what i do cuz i like it. and im good at it. that doesn't make me a hoe. i don't give everybody head, just my man. i was in the nail salon and this girl was talking to her friend about it like she was talking about no getting a tax return. she was like she was mad her man brought it up after they been together so long, how he loves to go down on her but she refuses to return the favor. in my mind I'm like "she so selfish" cuz she made it seem like she didn't do it cuz she never did, not that she didn't like to. i hate people who shoot things down before giving it a go at least once.

giving good head obviously takes practice. i ain't a porn star so don't expect some super duper spectacular stuff, but i will do my best to make ya toes curl lolol.

on to another thing. is swallowing a big deal to men? i mean, i don't have a preference to swallow or not to swallow, but some men love it and others find it "hoe" like? is that because of how its portrayed in porn. how do you bring this up to know if its OK? do you go" hey boo ima suck ya dick, should i swallow, spit it out or let ya shoot ya load into the air?" lmao i don't know..somebody put me on..

"I used to be scared of the i throw lips at the shit...handle it like a real bitch.." -Lil' Kim

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Light Skin Vs. Dark Skin...

As a "dark skin" female i sometimes have an issue with this topic. The other day i was in the nail salon and this fair skinned lady said to me "you're such a pretty dark skinned girl" i said thank you, but in the back of my mind I'm like, "what does that mean? she usually sees ugly dark skinned girls?" I'm not insecure about my looks at all. At a time i was. Most of my friends are lighter than i am. In high school they always seemed to get more male attention then i did, but that really didn't phase me in all honesty. Men always seem to want that light skin, light eyed, long haired chick. We see it in videos, in books, in movies, hear it in songs...But why? what is it about a "light skinned" chick that a dark skin woman can't offer? Last time i checked, i've seen just as many hideous light skinned women as dark skinned ones. I'm not a hater at all, i get plenty attention when i step out. I come from an extremely diverse family so my skin color was never a big deal growing up. I'm considered "exotic" i suppose *shrug* It just kind of bothers me to see light and dark skinned women sort of compete when they are out. And the men just eat it up. I guess some people just still have that house slave/ field slave mentality. I'll never get it...

Heaven, I need a Hug...

OK so I've been shopping compulsively lately. Shoes, bags, anything. you name it. I bought 8 pairs of shoes within 2 days last weekend. I couldn't figure out what the problem was but now i think i do. Lack of SEX. lolol. I haven't had sex in forever. Actually, i realize that lately i don't even want to, which is odd cause i LOVE me some dick. Yea i said it. I'm not a prude. I like to get mines...

*off topic* why are females so ashamed to admit they give head? is that still taboo? Cuz really i don't see what the big deal is. I enjoy knowing i can satisfy my man in numerous ways. Besides, if your man is so fresh and so clean why not offer him a little lip and tongue service every now and then? All the ladies want a man to give them a lick down, but don't want to return the favor. BITCH please. get over yourself. if you wont do it, someone else will.

OK now that i got that off my chest, back to the subject at hand. I've realized that there definitely is a direct correlation with my shopping/no sex problem. So i don't need shoppers anonymous, just nice long stiff one. But i've been at ends with the loser since our little...situation. I have a "boo", but everytime i try to see him something happens to prevent me from getting to the good stuff. lol. LAWD

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Weird But True...

He has GOT to be the worse kidnapper EVER...Seriously.
Oh, what torture.
A man held a woman hostage in Toledo, Ohio, for three days, and did nothing but read the Bible to her.
Troy Brisport grabbed the woman off the street, handcuffed her, put her in an adult diaper and read nonstop to her.
She escaped after he fell asleep...

Friday, February 13, 2009

This Week's Candy Memory Is.


All these were was color, sugar, and water to hold that together..but obviously nutrition fats were'nt on my mind when i ate these.. The only flaw was that you'd have to spend forever removing the paper from the back of the candy. Or you could've been a Greedy McBean and ate whatever it is you pulled off the paper...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

I Hate....

i need to air out some of the things i really hate.. here we go lol

-open-toe shoes worn with stockings.

- people over the age of 25 with Sidekicks.

-Manpris. If your going to wear shorts, wear shorts. If your going to wear long pants, wear long pants. THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND.

-The McDonalds on Avenue H. I swear everyone who works there is special. They move slow, forget your order..Just a mess.

-Girls who wear eyeshadow wrong.

-People who wear the exact outfit on a display mannequin. Now everyone knows its from H&M.

-Glasses with no lense.

-People who walk slow then abruptly stop on a busy street or in the train station.

-People who sit with their legs wide open on a crowded train, taking up 2 seats.

-Men who don't give their seats to elderly, pregnant or women with babies.

-People who yell into their cellphones.

-Sunglasses, giant pocketbooks/purses/hanbags, fur coats, & bluetooth headsets in the club

-People who sing a song mad loud with the wrong lyrics.

- When natural hair and weave dont match(texture, color, or both)

- people who drive slow, then speed up at the yellow causing you to be stuck at the light

-People who dont move to the back of th bus.

-When people act ghetto/loud/obnoxious in a public area.

-When people assume everyone in/from Brooklyn knows eachother.

-When you tell someone you're West Indian and they automatically think you're Jamaican or Haitian.

-When you go shopping and a person puts something down, and you pick it up, and they go back and pick up that same item because you did.

-When people stare at the menu forever at McDonalds.

-People who act extra in the club(throwin money *eye roll*, splitting)

-When you tell somebody youre gonna call them back and they call you 5 minutes later like, "why you aint call me back?"

-Leather bombers with cartoon characters on them.

-Overweight girls who tuck their shirts into their jeans and pull the belt so tight the gut hides the belt.

-People who feel the need to share what their shit is and how much it costs in pictures.

-People who listen to music/ringtones without headphones in public.

-Cracked, chapped, peeling lips.

-People who dont like something but do it or like it because you say you do.

LOL Sorry this list has been building..and will continue to grow.

Monday, February 2, 2009

F^#K You Punxsutauney Phil!!!

Do we REALLY need six more weeks of winter?

Who the hell is this mother fucker to tell me i gotta freeze my ass off until my birthday?

All because he saw his damn shadow. I see my shadow all the time, does that mean I'm going to have 6 more weeks of heartburn? Will i get paid extra for the next 6 weeks? NO. He sees his damn shadow and we all have to suffer. He didn't think we had enough winter to last us awhile already? It was about 39 degrees in MIAMI a week ago. But he wouldn't know that because he lives in a damn hole. Regardless of how cold it is he gonna be chillin in his chinchilla while I'm turning into a sexy Popsicle walking down Lexington Avenue...

So go F yourself Punxsutauney Phil.